E is for Electricity - RA

The order was simple.

"Minions, find me electricity!" Captain had said, and here they were in a middle of nowhere, looking for something that didn't even exist anymore.

"What a waste of time…" the Sniper muttered under his breath, as he walked down the empty street next to the Engineer.

"That's not strictly true," Gromov began in his "teacher-voice", despite the fact he hadn't even been asked.

Snippy hated that stuffy tone of voice. It always sounded like Gromov was trying to make him feel stupid. "Here comes a lecture," he said, rolling his eyes.

Engie ignored his remark and continued. "It is perfectly possible to produce electricity. All we have to do is build an electric generator. It won't be easy, but I can do it. If you're not going to help, at least don't get in my way. The same goes for you!" Gromov shouted, as Pilot's skipping rope missed his face by mere inches. "Be careful, you pinhead!"

"You be quiet, you-" Pilot was cut off as his foot got tangled in the skipping rope and he crashed to the ground.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Engineer commented.

Snippy eyed him angrily. "Would you stop comparing me to Pilot?"

Gromov pretended not to hear him.

"As I was saying," he went on like nothing had happened, "I might be able to build a generator, if we find the parts that I need. Just think of it, Charles. Think of all the advantages electricity would give us. Actually, this is one of the Captain's more reasonable orders."

"Hooray for the Awesome Captain!" Pilot cheered, and began singing his latest ode to Captain's wisdom. Snippy and Engie sighed and ignored him, knowing that there was no point in trying to shush him.

With the tuneless song as an accompaniment, they marched through the ruined city. Snippy couldn't believe that for once Gromov looked quite excited about the mission. Was he really managing to appreciate someone else's idea? That was certainly something new! After all, the man was almost as egocentric as The Captain himself. Both were beyond annoying.

Making electricity might actually be a good plan, since Engie seemed agreed with the Captain on that. They could do with an electric light in their hideout, instead of burning candles all the time. Not that Mr Snippy had anything against candlelight. Not at all. The problem was that the candles kept mysteriously vanishing. Probably Pilot taking them for his secret shrine to the Captain.

Knowing how clumsy that idiot could be, he would probably burn himself alive one of these days.

It took some time for them to find all the necessary components, and for Engie to build a strange looking device. However, at last, it seemed as though they had succeeded.

The electric generator was ready to test.

Snippy didn't like to admit it, but Gromov was indeed a genius of some sort.

"So, how does it work?" Sniper asked, gaining interest as he admired the construction. It consisted of two bicycles connected to a box-like machine, which might have been an engine once.

"I'm glad you asked," said the proud inventor, as usual full of himself. "This is a human powered electrical generator. According to my calculations, we will be able to generate about 125 to 200 watts, which means… could you stop that!" he snapped.

Pilot looked at him, apparently unable to understand why he shouldn't be braiding wires.

"Why do I even bother trying to explain?" Engie sighed. "You two don't have to know how it works. All you have to do is pedal and make it work. I hope that won't be too complicated for you."

"We're gonna ride a bike!" Pilot exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, kind of…"

Sometimes, Dr Gromov wished he was a qualified babysitter, not a scientist.

"Well? Where is my precious electricity?"

Engie jumped as Captain popped up by his side like some kind of phantom. The three of them immediately turned to look at their leader.

"I…" Engie began, then corrected himself: "I mean… we finished the device. We haven't set it in motion yet."

"I shall witness its initial activation. It better be working!" Captain demanded.

Snippy and Pilot took their places. They pedalled, and the wheels of the two rusted bicycles started turning. Gromov glanced at the machine. Everything seemed to be fine so far, but the light bulb on the top of the construction did not turn on.

Captain was not impressed. He tap his foot impatiently.

Engineer couldn't help but think of all those old lightbulb jokes.

How many morons does it takes to turn on a light bulb? As we can see, a pair is not enough.

Using muscles should be easier than using brains. Still, those two were doing it wrong.

"Can't you go faster?" he said to his fellow minions. "The generator needs more power."

They did so, and after a moment a dim light appeared in the light bulb.

"That's it!"

Hearing Gromov enthusiastic about something was a rather rare experience, Snippy thought. He sounded like Dr Frankenstein when his monstrous creation had come to life.

The main part of the machine was placed behind the bicycles, so all Snippy could see was the building across the street. Their current hideout only had two walls, and no celling.

"Look, Captain. It's working!" Engineer showed the light bulb to the Commanding Officer.

The man glanced at it. Weak light glinted in the purple lenses of his goggles. "Make it brighter, Mr Engie," he ordered, with a tinge of dissatisfaction in his voice.

"Faster, guys!" Gromov commanded, evidently determined to please the Captain. Or maybe he wanted to prove his capability? Either way, Pilot and Snippy obeyed him.

They moved their legs as fast as they could. The old bicycles gave a metallic screech. The light got brighter, and Engineer smiled behind his gas mask. He was about to prove himself.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of smashing plastic. The next thing he knew, the bicycles were gone. The platform which had held them in place was broken in half. Snippy and Pilot careened sideways and crashed into the nearest building.

According to Engie's time, speed, and distance calculations - that must have hurt.

Engie was a bit scared that the Captain would blame him for this whole accident. In all honesty, it was indeed his fault. He should have attached those bicycles to something more solid. Well, Pilot and Snippy had been through worse. He guessed that they'd be alright. But still, they had obtained no electricity. The Captain had the right to be disappointed.

Engineer turned his head to their leader, uncertain what to say.

"You know, Mr Engie…" the Captain said slowly. "That electricity was truly shocking."